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CoS over Kt

Sup this is Stifflers writeup of Kt. vs [CoS] TFL Platinum action tonight we played a map called bloodtoobe which i think was made by some TDA guy or something. If any of you are familiar with it, you know that its just a completely faggot map with little or no fun involved. It consists of a bunch of tubes and shit that nobody uses, they should of called it blood-sewer or something since those tubes are so fucking incredibly useless, kind of like Tonysan's wife's cervix, but we'll get back to that later. ok r1 we head into our server with a decent degree of confidence, and jax tells me i am a hacker and i detted behind walls in a demoman guild tryout, and stiffler is playing O soldier. CoS quickly takes the lead with a fury of caps on their defense, and with me destroying and mangling many of their fr defenders, we cap like mad. Seriously, XD quality o soldier, someone should invite me LOL. Their offense loses a guy mid round and they paly without a 4th o for about 12:00 minutes. As a result we win this round. r1 ends 140-50 for the camels of society We join #cosvriprivate and we are all like 'ROFL SUP WE ARE WINNING HAHAHA WHY DONT WE PUT STIFF ON D, WE CANT POSSIBLY lOSE NOW' so r2 starts and I get to play d, with my demoman guild wallhacks This round Kt. decides to fire their d demoman (seriously shit i hope my XD o soldier skills didnt make him have a fit and talk shit, forcing him to be kicked from Kt for bad attitude) Our O seriously owns it up with Astro's spy mi6 ownage and his craftyness. This guy should work for bill gates or something. Vote used his famous shoot-the-floor-while-holding-forward-and-hit-a-ceiling-and-then-land-in-enemy-spam-and-die `DD rocket jumping skills to pull out lots of flags somehow. Distort did not play but I am sure he had something to do with tonights victory as he was in -[H2K]-, yeah. Our most important offense person this round was probably yoda since his name was on the screen so much, representing his -e9- tag and playing medic. I wonder sometimes if this kid yoda is one of those elf guys from the north pole, since he has a sort of long-drawn voice with a high pitched squeel to it, you can instantly paint the picture of a pointy eared, rosey cheeked, green hat wearing gnome or soemthing when you hear this faggot talk on voice. I hope you're disguising your voice to be faggy because if not all 2 of the women in your life are not impressed at all, barry white. Their offense takes a new approach: they all decide to go upper, which was where I was playing. Having never played this spot in my life, I got fucking owned by Kt's quick ass offense and spamming Kool Guy Ryann, who owned it up with his det hacks on me. The rest of their o just did some fag ass bunnyhopping strategy, Im assuming they copied these excellent moves from analyzing a rent a knight demo or something, since there is no way these guys could be better than yoda at the class of medic without some sort of assistance. So the entire round they manage to pull alot more caps, they cap like 7 or something before i learn to not listen to my whiney ass leader Tonysan when he bitches ""STIFFLER FFS HOLD UR POS..." then 2 seconds later, he bitches 'STIFFLER WTF DROP DOWN AND HELP ME IN FR, I FUCKING SUCK AND NO BODY IS HERE TO HELP ME'. So i would drop down and there would be nobody in FR and tony was like ROFL ROFL NOBODIES HERREE. So im like, Wh, wtf faggot. and next thing you know a fucking mirv nails me int he face through the ceiling hole and then the entire defense is crying to me about me not holding my position. Tony, honestly, you're a fucking paranoid moron. So after about 7 caps i stop listenign to the faggots on our defense and just stay up top and manage to do better, witha shitload of fishy shots around corners, LoLZ111!. So rofl we end up winning again but they cap alot more this round and our leader tony decides to blame it on me, like I suck on D or something. Fuck you tony. so round 2 ends 180-80 or something like that for corruption of sacromento I would like to add: Hellfire - i will seriously plug your ffucking mouth with a dildo if i ever hear you say 'STIFFLER DROP DOWN TO THE FLAG' when nobody is fucking there. Seriously, TFC shoudl ban people from red heads from palying tfc. Fuck you carrot top. Dead - you're fucking garbage at whatever it is you play, and I will see to it that you never walk down the street with a doo rag. (deads part black and think she deserves reparations from slavery or some shit) Neuri - you're a fat fuck and you listen to nu metal like korn or whatever the hell else you listen to. Suck Kud from mudvaynes cock you obese moron. Forgotton - you didnt play tonight, but you just deepthroat any cylindrical object within your grasp, burn in hell kyd. Tonysan - I didnt have fucking comms and its not my fault you guys suck dick at playing TFC. I will be a regular D starter from now on. I fucking hate you andj I will fuck your wife until she moans. Jax - I dont hack thanks Aquatic Rabbit - You are the worlds most sensitive man Vote Freak - Don't listen to what your mother tells you, the sun is good for you I say. Now stop watching anime and go the fuck outside for christs sake. Dead - you will never play one round of medic in CoS, despite your leet Vendetta or whatever teh fuck clan it was you were in for a year or whatever unimportant amount of time, of experience you have as medic. Broken^Ni - an uncircumsized jew, you cant find many of these nowadays, but this one is in ^Ni so i guess some type of respect is due. Toast-A- - he did not hack, unban him from leagues now, TFC will benefit from a low life crack addict peurto rican such as him, who probably stole his computer from best buy. Speaking of best buy, I wore a white shirt with the words FUCK COUNTER STRIKE on the front and back written in purple marker when I was in the vicinity of the area of a best buy. I almost got fucking jumped by 30 asian kids with bucked teeth. Trust me, dont hang out at these places, you are asking for trouble. Hex - I smoke more weed than you Noreaga - you got kicked from your clan tonight lolwsz Zogo - I think this kid is a french canadian living somewhere in the united states. One of those southern places full of inbred morons. Nevertheless he is the greatest person to play video games. But the better they are at video games, the smaller their dick is. You knwo what they say. Astro - I like you. In conclusion, I would like to say tonysan is the worst player alive. This faggot insulted my ability to defend on a map I have never played before on d, and was mad cuz he cant avoid a mirv that was tossed 3 feet away from him, unprimed, and accidentally strafed into it because of his shitty evaluation of the battlefield. Seriously, you're fucking terrible. Final words: GG Kt., wish you luck in the rest of your matches and hopefully you will not have any more roster problems. :) <3 wus Fuck Tonysan and the coup de ville he rode in on.

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