Community

Divisions

Clan Rankings

Match Results

Site Information

Clan Search

Clan Stats

M over gOg

We played the girls over at g0g tonight...I'm still unclear as to whether they are actually female or not, but as far as my imagination is concerned, it really does not matter! I bet they were smoking hot! SMOKING HOT!

Round 1 started on our server, with pings being SWEET SWEET SWEET for our team, like usual! We entered the server with some doubts, as we had heard very nasty things about this map. Fortunately, within only five or ten minutes, we discovered that the critics were, in fact, absolutely 100 percent correct in their evaluation. This has got to be the most flaming gay, sexually confused map ever created. I stated last week that the author of vidars should be beaten with a stick...the author of SHUTDOWN_L should have his family tree traced down to its roots, and have his great great ancestors sodomized by large grizzly bears with bad tempers, then burned alive with their ashes scattered to the four winds. Jesus fucking Christ, what a shit map. Anyways...the action starts off slow, with both teams getting some button presses but neither being able to pull the flag out. However, after about the 25 minute mark, the enemy button falls, and M.Lonestar flies from the sky and swoo!
ps the enemy flag away with his sharp talons! And they said an eagle couldn't play TFC...shows what so-called experts know. Offensive MVP goes to our feathered friend, and whoever the hell got the button on that one...defensive MVP goes to M.PurpleOrgasm for his fine job at the ramp, and for his weird but strangely addictive name! MVP trophies are on the way! I think! Round ends with M on top 1-0!

We piled into their server for round 2, and we expected much of the same. And yea...it pretty much was. Once again, button presses were rare, and flags were rarely touched as well. This time, however, the M offense had the aid of M.CdTriX, the magical mystical offensive HWG! Through his brute force and fat posterior, the M offense manage to drag out TWICE the number of flags as round 1! Offensive MVP goes to the aforementioned fatass...keep on truckin'. Whatever that means. Defensive MVP was GOING to go to M.HeaVyFiRe, but he made fun of me, so now he can rot in hell like the scum of the Earth that he is. Stupid dog molesting ingrate. Defensive MVP now goes to M.RoTaR for his engineer prowess...no wonder he's in -4|4-, arguably the greatest guild in the history of the TFC universe. No wait...that's `zD...sorry! zD FOR LIFE! Anyways...round ends with M on top 2-0!

Final score: M wins, 3-0!

Great game ladies, hope to see you gals soon! Hopefully, inarp talons! And they said an eagle couldn't play TFC...shows what so-called experts know. Offensive MVP goes to our feathered friend, and whoever the hell got the button on that one...defensive MVP goes to M.PurpleOrgasm for his fine job at the ramp, and for his weird but strangely addictive name! MVP trophies are on the way! I think! Round ends with M on top 1-0!

We piled into their server for round 2, and we expected much of the same. And yea...it pretty much was. Once again, button presses were rare, and flags were rarely touched as well. This time, however, the M offense had the aid of M.CdTriX, the magical mystical offensive HWG! Through his brute force and fat posterior, the M offense manage to drag out TWICE the number of flags as round 1! Offensive MVP goes to the aforementioned fatass...keep on truckin'. Whatever that means. Defensive MVP was GOING to go to M.HeaVyFiRe, but he made fun of me, so now he can rot in hell like the scum of the Earth that he is. Stupid dog molesting ingrate. Defensive MVP now goes to M.RoTaR for his engineer prowess...no wonder he's in -4|4-, arguably the greatest guild in the history of the TFC universe. No wait...that's `zD...sorry! zD FOR LIFE! Anyways...round ends with M on top 2-0!

Final score: M wins, 3-0!

Great game ladies, hope to see you gals soon! Hopefully, in a pillow fight of some sort!

And now, we begin. [NeX]chimp has issued the challenge of longest writeup, and he is about to be heavily, heavily beaten down. By me. Right now.

Since I have already pretty much covered the STA match, I feel that it is now time for senseless rambling, random insulting of M members and people who idle in the Malevolence chan, and also to reflect upon life's lessons. I like to call it...KarN's corner. Gather round, children!

Let us begin by examining Xenic. Former [cTz] allstar, he now resides in our channel as a lowly dishwasher. Sometimes, when we have dry cleaning or some other errand to accomplish, we also assign him to that. Now, you must be asking yourself, what on Earth can happen to a person that would cause such a huge fall from grace? I mean...this guy used to play TFC! Now look at him! He's a complete loser now! I'll tell you the answer to that, boys and girls...he turned down Malevolence. Now now...I know what you're thinking..."What the fuck kind of idiot turns down Malevolence? Are...are you on drugs, Xenic? Some sort of heavy medication?" Alas, I cannot answer that. Had he accepted our offer, who knows what great treasures he could be reaping right now...instead of scrubbing dried grease off of our pots and pans. The lesson here...don't be an idiot like Xenic. a pillow fight of some sort!

And now, we begin. [NeX]chimp has issued the challenge of longest writeup, and he is about to be heavily, heavily beaten down. By me. Right now.

Since I have already pretty much covered the STA match, I feel that it is now time for senseless rambling, random insulting of M members and people who idle in the Malevolence chan, and also to reflect upon life's lessons. I like to call it...KarN's corner. Gather round, children!

Let us begin by examining Xenic. Former [cTz] allstar, he now resides in our channel as a lowly dishwasher. Sometimes, when we have dry cleaning or some other errand to accomplish, we also assign him to that. Now, you must be asking yourself, what on Earth can happen to a person that would cause such a huge fall from grace? I mean...this guy used to play TFC! Now look at him! He's a complete loser now! I'll tell you the answer to that, boys and girls...he turned down Malevolence. Now now...I know what you're thinking..."What the fuck kind of idiot turns down Malevolence? Are...are you on drugs, Xenic? Some sort of heavy medication?" Alas, I cannot answer that. Had he accepted our offer, who knows what great treasures he could be reaping right now...instead of scrubbing dried grease off of our pots and pans. The lesson here...don't be an idiot like Xenic. When we ask you to join our clan, you get the damn-hell-ass in. Clear? Clear!

Hmm...moving on...I'd just like to talk for a moment about how much M.HeaVyFiRe sucks at TFC. I mean...I can understand someone being bad at a game...it's all reflexes and thinking, and some people just lack the necessary skill and talent. However, I'm talking about DOWNRIGHT SUCKING, akin to being a negative number when counting up the rosters. Where a normal skilless player would simply miss a rocket jump, HeaVyFiRe somehow manages to add a cap to the enemy scoreboard with each attempt. It's honestly that bad. If there are any clans out there that currently need a player, regardless of skill, regardless of win/loss record, regardless of cutting off any possible future potential chance of ever ever winning another TFC match ever ever ever, then consider picking this guy up! You can have him for $10, or best offer.

Let us now move our focus to a truly unique individual, [x_x]busta. This guy...let me tell you...he is truly one of a kind. He is the very definition of tree-hugging hippie. Where there is a tree, you can bet your bottom dollar that busta is lurking in the shadows nearby, arms extended and ready to strike. He likes the New York Knicks...and EVERYONE knows that recent studies have shown that Knicks fans are all, all, ALL gay. Furthermore, he cheers for the Vancouver Canucks...just more evidence o When we ask you to join our clan, you get the damn-hell-ass in. Clear? Clear!

Hmm...moving on...I'd just like to talk for a moment about how much M.HeaVyFiRe sucks at TFC. I mean...I can understand someone being bad at a game...it's all reflexes and thinking, and some people just lack the necessary skill and talent. However, I'm talking about DOWNRIGHT SUCKING, akin to being a negative number when counting up the rosters. Where a normal skilless player would simply miss a rocket jump, HeaVyFiRe somehow manages to add a cap to the enemy scoreboard with each attempt. It's honestly that bad. If there are any clans out there that currently need a player, regardless of skill, regardless of win/loss record, regardless of cutting off any possible future potential chance of ever ever winning another TFC match ever ever ever, then consider picking this guy up! You can have him for $10, or best offer.

Let us now move our focus to a truly unique individual, [x_x]busta. This guy...let me tell you...he is truly one of a kind. He is the very definition of tree-hugging hippie. Where there is a tree, you can bet your bottom dollar that busta is lurking in the shadows nearby, arms extended and ready to strike. He likes the New York Knicks...and EVERYONE knows that recent studies have shown that Knicks fans are all, all, ALL gay. Furthermore, he cheers for the Vancouver Canucks...just more evidence of his blatant love for the human male population. "Vancouver" is derived from the latin words "van" and "couver", which roughly translates to "homosexuals live here".

I think I've made fun of enough people for awhile, let me rant a bit about something that really scares me...faces in windows. I think that, if I had to choose a number one fear, it would be seeing faces in windows. Just imagine, you come home one day, sit down in your favorite chair, turn your head to the side, and see some smiling freak staring back at you in the window. I don't know about you, but that would scare the living shit out of me. I don't think I'd be able to run or hide, I would just die instantly, there in my favorite chair...perhaps in a puddle of piss, depending on how scary the guy looks. A close second would be seeing someone behind you in the mirror...but that's kinda like the same thing. After that, it's probably a tie between being buried alive, and having to play a TFC match with HeaVyFiRe.

I have just recieved word that [NeX]chimp is at 933 words...I just did a word count and I am clear over 1,100. So it looks like I'm making good time. I'm sure his writeup consists entirely of loosely connected sentence fragments, smiley faces, and entire sections copied and pasted from his school textbooks. Here is an example of what it will look like%f his blatant love for the human male population. "Vancouver" is derived from the latin words "van" and "couver", which roughly translates to "homosexuals live here".

I think I've made fun of enough people for awhile, let me rant a bit about something that really scares me...faces in windows. I think that, if I had to choose a number one fear, it would be seeing faces in windows. Just imagine, you come home one day, sit down in your favorite chair, turn your head to the side, and see some smiling freak staring back at you in the window. I don't know about you, but that would scare the living shit out of me. I don't think I'd be able to run or hide, I would just die instantly, there in my favorite chair...perhaps in a puddle of piss, depending on how scary the guy looks. A close second would be seeing someone behind you in the mirror...but that's kinda like the same thing. After that, it's probably a tie between being buried alive, and having to play a TFC match with HeaVyFiRe.

I have just recieved word that [NeX]chimp is at 933 words...I just did a word count and I am clear over 1,100. So it looks like I'm making good time. I'm sure his writeup consists entirely of loosely connected sentence fragments, smiley faces, and entire sections copied and pasted from his school textbooks. Here is an example of what it will look like, I'm sure:

"See spot run...see spot run....8) =) :) =P =o =/ =( =) :D ...all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...sky fly by my apple pie dry...square root derivative =P power to the =) :( :D"

I'm assuming he will conclude with a series of "LOLZ", followed by a crude attempt to make a funny joke, but because of poor execution, ends up offending a major religion.

I now turn my attention to M.Senor-VD, who is the greatest TFC player to ever grace the TFC community. His prowess with the knife is unmatched...no HWG is safe! He is also well known for his uncanny ability to somehow gas all spawns on any given map, even if there are more than 4 doors. I mean...he only gets 4 pills! How does he do it?! WELL HE FINDS A WAY! Also, aside from possessing tremendous TFC talent, he is also the friendliest fellow you will ever meet. One only has to peruse the TFC customization forums to find evidence of his friendly demeanor...nothing but helpful advice and constructive criticism from him! If you want further proof of this, PM him sometime and ask him to model something for you...he'll LOVE IT! The smaller the request the better...it makes it easier for him to complete the task! Minor recolorings are ideal to ask him for help, but adding lasers to existing models are also recommended. He loves 2C I'm sure:

"See spot run...see spot run....8) =) :) =P =o =/ =( =) :D ...all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...sky fly by my apple pie dry...square root derivative =P power to the =) :( :D"

I'm assuming he will conclude with a series of "LOLZ", followed by a crude attempt to make a funny joke, but because of poor execution, ends up offending a major religion.

I now turn my attention to M.Senor-VD, who is the greatest TFC player to ever grace the TFC community. His prowess with the knife is unmatched...no HWG is safe! He is also well known for his uncanny ability to somehow gas all spawns on any given map, even if there are more than 4 doors. I mean...he only gets 4 pills! How does he do it?! WELL HE FINDS A WAY! Also, aside from possessing tremendous TFC talent, he is also the friendliest fellow you will ever meet. One only has to peruse the TFC customization forums to find evidence of his friendly demeanor...nothing but helpful advice and constructive criticism from him! If you want further proof of this, PM him sometime and ask him to model something for you...he'll LOVE IT! The smaller the request the better...it makes it easier for him to complete the task! Minor recolorings are ideal to ask him for help, but adding lasers to existing models are also recommended. He loves those lasers...

Finally, let us look back in retrospect for a minute, and really take the time to experience the spirit and joy of life. Breathe in....breathe out. Doesn't that feel good? Don't you feel more spiritual and Oprah-ey already? I know I do! This week's lesson for all of you...stay in school. Why? Because school is cool, and can lead to many exciting job opportunities...like an astronaught...or a cowboy...you name it! For those of you who aren't in school, I don't care! Get the hell back in school! You're not getting off the hook that easy!

Well, we're almost out of time here, children. Tune in next week to KarN's corner to learn how to turn an ordinary garden rock into a fully functionable fighter jet, complete with missiles! Useful for air to air combat, air to ground combat, and ending [x_x]busta's miserable life if you ever happen to see him on the street.

-karn

Member Login

Top 10 Clans

Top 10 Climbers

Sponsors